Through the refining in my moral character, unbelievable circumstances, and simply studying, worship, and experiencing God most of my doubts were eradicated. I must admit I sometimes question if it's all a grand dillusion....

As you can guess, I think it is, but I also think it does not matter, as least from the standpoint of ethics. The construct you have built to come to peace with your perceived 'sin problem' seems unnecessary to me, and attributing your morality to some external agent looks kind of unfair towards yourself, but I neither think our well argued skepticism has a chance of changing your perception of the world in general and yourself in particular, not do I see the need for that.

Unlike someone in this thread, I certainly did break my own moral code occasionally. However, the moral debt accrued I owe to people I wronged (and to myself, in order to restore my selfimage), not to some superbeing. I don't particularly like finality of death I am quite certain of, but I cannot make myself to disown everything I know about the world and believe in what I see as invention in order to have unreasonable hope (which could, after all, lead me to waste my mortal days, the only days I have).

To all, I'm sorry about this series of long posts. This is something that is obviously really important to me and I wish I could share with everyone.

Thank you for this attempt at sharing. However, I neither see nor feel need to postulate something unknowable beyond what I can (at least in principle) observe or deduce.

I think everyone should have an empeg, I hate it when people just don't "get it." In many ways, my faith in Jesus is the same only a billion times stronger!

This is certainly flattering to empeg and us empeggers!