Here then, in Silicon Valley terms, is a review of the Bush administration's year in Iraq:

Saddam Hussein poses an 'imminent threat' to the American people.

• Version 1.0 - Saddam Hussein is an imminent threat
  
• Version 1.01 - Saddam Hussein is a gathering threat
  
• Version 1.02 - Saddam Hussein poses a real and dangerous threat
  
• Version 1.1 - The smoking gun will be a mushroom cloud
  
• Version 1.2 - We can't afford to wait
  
• Version 1.3 - We never said imminent
  
• Version 1.3.1 - OK, maybe we did say it once or twice
  
• Version 1.4 - We should have been more precise

Saddam Hussein is ready to use weapons of mass destruction.

• Version 2.1 - Saddam has weapons of mass destruction
  
• Version 2.2 - Saddam has nuclear weapons
  
• Version 2.3 - Saddam has biological agents he's never accounted for
  
• Version 2.3.1 - The trailers are mobile labs for producing chemical weapons
  
• Version 2.3.2 - Unmanned aircraft are ready to spread Saddam's biological weapons
  
• Version 2.4 - Saddam's going to make more of all these weapons
  
• Version 2.5 - We all know where the weapons are
  
• Version 2.5.1 - Well, Saddam has used weapons of mass destruction
  
• Version 2.5.2 - Iraq is a big country. We'll find the weapons eventually.
  
• Version 2.5.3 - Saddam had weapons of mass destruction programs
  
• Version 2.5.4 - Saddam had "weapons of mass destruction program-related activities"
  
• Version 2.5.5 - David Kay? Who's David Kay?
  
• Version 2.6 - It's not about misleading the American people—Saddam Hussein is gone and that's the most important thing

The intelligence is clear.

• Version 3.0 - We based our statements on our available intelligence
  
• Version 3.1 - Saddam tried to buy uranium ore in Niger
  
• Version 3.1.2 - Well, that was what the British told us
  
• Version 3.1.3 - Did we tell you about Joe Wilson's wife?
  
• Version 3.1.4 - Do you know a good lawyer?
  
• Version 3.2 - The intelligence is absolutely clear
  
• Version 3.2.1 - Intelligence is never 100 percent certain
  
• Version 3.2.2 - We didn't manipulate the intelligence
  
• Version 3.3 - There was no consensus within the intelligence community
  
• Version 3.3.1 - We saw the same intelligence the last administration did

Saddam Hussein has deep ties to Al Qaeda.

• Version 4.0 - Saddam has long-standing ties to Al Qaeda
  
• Version 4.0.1 - You can't distinguish between Saddam and Al Qaeda
  
• Version 4.0.2 - There is an Al Qaeda terrorist network in Iraq
  
• Version 4.0.3 - Saddam has provided Al Qaeda with chemical and biological weapons training.
  
• Version 4.0.4 - Saddam will give his weapons to Al Qaeda
  
• Version 4.0.5 - Colin Powell: I have not seen smoking-gun, concrete evidence about the connection [between Al Qaeda and Iraq]
  
• Version 4.0.6 - Vice President Cheney: I still believe there's a connection.
  
• Version 4.0.7 - CIA Director George Tenet: I told Dick not to say that.

The United Nations just can't handle this.

• Version 5.0 - The UN had 12 years to deal with this
  
• Version 5.1 - We don't trust the UN to handle this
  
• Version 5.1.1 - We don't need the UN's help
  
• Version 5.1.2 - The UN should play a vital, but not central role
  
• Version 5.1.3 - You there, UN, tell Ayatollah Sistani that elections aren't possible
  
• Version 5.1.4 - UN, please oversee the election process
  
• Version 5.1.5 - Pretty please? We'll pay our dues

The war in Iraq won't hurt our efforts in Afghanistan or the hunt for bin Laden.

• Version 6.0 - Iraq won't affect our hunt for bin Laden
  
• Version 6.1 - Assets have been moved from Afghanistan to Iraq
  
• Version 6.1.1 - Assets are being returned to Afghanistan
  
• Version 6.2 - We're mounting a spring offensive against bin Laden
  
• Version 6.2.1 - We'll catch bin Laden this year
  
• Version 6.2.2 - We hope to catch bin Laden this year
  
• Version 6.3 - Even if we catch bin Laden, the threat will still exist.

Mission accomplished.

• Version 7.0 - We won't need hundreds of thousands of troops—that's wildly off the mark
  
• Version 7.1 - Mission accomplished
  
• Version 7.1.1 - We'll stay as long as needed and not one day more
  
• Version 7.1.2 - The troops will be home in six months
  
• Version 7.1.3 - The Iraqi Army will provide security
  
• Version 7.1.4 - Where's the Iraqi Army?
  
• Version 7.1.5 - We've disbanded the Iraqi Army
  
• Version 7.1.3 - The troops will stay a year and be replaced
  
• Version 7.2 - We're training the Iraqi army—Iraqification will work
  
• Version 7.2.1 - We don't need any more American troops
  
• Version 7.2.2 - Well, maybe we do
  
• Version 7.2.3 - We're keeping 30,000 more troops on active duty than were authorized
  
• Version 7.2.4 - We don't know if this increase in troops is a spike or a plateau
  
• Version 7.2.5 - We're establishing stop loss so troops can't leave
  
• Version 7.2.6 - The Army is planning multi-year rotations

The cost to the American taxpayer.

• Version 8.0 - Economic advisor Larry Lindsey: The war will cost $200 billion
  
• Version 8.0.1 - President Bush: You're fired!
  
• Version 8.1 - The war will pay for itself very quickly
  
• Version 8.1.1 - Iraqi oil revenue will pay for reconstruction
  
• Version 8.2 - Our allies will help us
  
• Version 8.3 - We'll pay for the war through supplementals
  
• Version 8.3.1 - Congress wouldn't let us put it in the budget
  
• Version 8.3.2 - Can we please have $87 billion?
  
• Version 8.3.3 - Well, we really can't calculate what it will cost...
  
• Version 8.3.4 - Well, maybe we can—$50 billion may be on the low side
  
• Version 8.3.5 - Ask us after November 2...

Democracy comes to Iraq.

• Version 9.0 - We will be greeted as liberators
  
• Version 9.0.1 - We'll establish democracy in Iraq
  
• Version 9.1 - We'll turn this back to the Iraqis quickly
  
• Version 9.1.1 - President Chalabi will be welcomed with open arms
  
• Version 9.1.2 - Well, not so fast—we're prohibiting political parties
  
• Version 9.2 - We have the November 15 agreement—it's unchangeable
  
• Version 9.2.1 - We will appoint a small governing council
  
• Version 9.2.2 - Well, maybe a larger one
  
• Version 9.3 - We don't favor elections
  
• Version 9.3.1 - Caucuses work in Iowa, why not Iraq?
  
• Version 9.3.2 - OK fine, we'll have elections
  
• Version 9.4 - We can't return sovereignty until there is a constitution
  
• Version 9.4.1 - Never mind, we'll turn over sovereignty first
  
• Version 9.4.2 - We need to return this to the Iraqis—How about June 30?
  
• Version 9.4.3 - We're still focused on elections—the ones on November 2

The bottom line.

• Version 10.0 - Trust us. We know what we're doing

I was expecting to see the Chewbacca defence somewhere in there...

"It's not my fault!"

"That Does Not Make Sense!"

Bitt,

That is quite the piece. But their code still has a bug:

str("They're wrong. We found 'em!") != TRUE

Looks like it produced an empty string...