How would you describe a member of the opposite sex in language you use at work?

One might be "A very smooth interface with lots of routing options and low latency" if you worked with network hardware.

Any others?

"A slow server running proprietary software that has to be rebooted at least once a day."

During the evaluation period, runs very smoothly, very low maintenance. After you purchase a license, it suddenly eats up all available resources, and crashes often and without warning. You'll find it impossible to determine the root cause of the crashes, and if you know what's good for you, you'll avoid trying another vendor's solution.

Though consuming in resources, it serves to improve your environment’s look-and-feel and provide various system maintenance functions. It is very good at multitasking and communications, and is a vital acquisition for those looking to expand their systems. Be forewarned, however, that this program not upgradeable, it must not be run in multiple instances, and is not multi-processor safe. While complex and difficult to understand, those who invest the time into the program will be rewarded. Warning: this program does not ship with a manual, and online help is at best sketchy.

In an industry where clients have asked us to create "sexy waves extending into the chaos," I could write any amount of gibberish in here that would qualify.

"Man, she gets good blowback."

(Explanation: I work on dialer systems. If an agent (telemarketer) can't hear their 'customers', we find out if they're physcially tied to the dialer. I got that respoince once, and use it alla time, now.)

Me.