Alternative State Mottos

Alabama: At least we’re not Mississippi!
Alaska: 10,000 Eskimos can’t be wrong.
Arizona: Dehyd-rific!
Arkansas: Litterasy ain’t everthing.
California: As seen on TV.
Colorado: If you don’t ski, don’t bother.
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, only dirtier and with less character.
Delaware: Please call before visiting so that we can make room.
Florida: Ask us about our grandkids.
Georgia: We put the “fun” in Fundamentalist Extremism.
Hawaii: Haka tiki mou sha’ami leeki toru (death to mainland scum, but leave your money).
Idaho: More than just potatoes. Well okay…we’re not, but the potatoes sure are real good.
Illinois: Gateway to Iowa.
Indiana: 2 billions years tidal wave free!
Iowa: Land of James T. Kirk.
Kansas: First of the rectangle states.
Kentucky: Five million people; fifteen last names.
Louisiana: We’re not all drunk Cajun wackos, but that’s our tourism campaign.
Maine: Cheap lobster.
Maryland: A thinking man’s Delaware.
Massachusetts: Our taxes are lower than Sweden’s (for most tax brackets).
Michigan: First line of defense from the Canadians.
Minnesota: For sale!
Mississippi: Come feel better about your own state.
Missouri: Your federal flood relief tax dollars at work.
Montana: Land of the Big Sky, the Unabomber, and very little else.
Nebraska: Ask about our state motto contest.
Nevada: Whores and poker!
New Hampshire: Go away and leave us alone.
New Jersey: You wanna f***in’ motto? I got your motherf***ing motto right here!
New Mexico: Lizards make excellent pets.
New York: You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney.
North Carolina: Tobacco is a vegetable.
North Dakota: Um…we’ve got…um…dinosaur bones? Yeah, dinosaur bones!
Ohio: Don’t judge us by Cleveland.
Oklahoma: Like the play – only no singing.
Oregon: Spotted owl: it’s what’s for dinner.
Pennsylvania: Cook with coal.
Rhode Island: We’re not really an island
South Carolina: Remember the Civil War? We didn’t actually surrender.
South Dakota: Closer than North Dakota.
Tennessee: The educashun state.
Texas: ¿Se hablo ingles?
Utah: Our Jesus is better than your Jesus.
Vermont: Yep.
Virginia: Who says government stiffs and slackjawed yokels don’t mix?
Washington: Help! We’re overrun by nerds and slackers.
West Virginia: One big happy family – for real.
Wisconsin: Come to cut some cheese.
Wyoming: Wynot?

Pretty funny, though I think there's a funnier things you can say about Texas with then our number of Hispanic people . . . say something about gun control or SUV's?

Actually, the Texas phrase could easily apply to California, as well.

Of course, California's could also be 'Pick up your filtered air mask at the door'.

And 'South Carolina: Land of 10,000 trailers'.

What About:
Question: You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner and is running at you while screaming obscenities. In your hand is a Glock .40 and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
___________________________________________________________
Liberal Answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answer the question! Does the man look poor or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that is inspiring him to attack? Could we run away? What does my wife think? What about the kids? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation? Is it possible he'd be happy with just killing me? Does he definitely want to kill me or would he just be content to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? This is all so confusing! I need to debate this with some friends for a few days to try to come to a conclusion.
__________________________________________________________
Conservative Answer:
BANG!
__________________________________________________________

Texan's Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! click... (sounds of clip being ejected and fresh clip installed)
Wife: "Sweetheart, he looks like he's still moving, what do you kids think?"
Son: "Mom's right Dad, I saw it too..."
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
Daughter: "Nice grouping, Daddy!"

NH: "Live, Freeze & Die."
-or-
...as seen on a bumper sticker: "Welcome to scenic New Hampshire. Now GO HOME!"

-Zeke

Where's the D.C. motto?

Possibility:

We don't have as many guns now!

LOL

Pretty accurate I'd say too.

Last time I was in Tampa, I saw the bumpersticker:

When I get old, I'm going to move to Canada and drive slow.

That can apply to Arizona also, as could the Texas saying.

Wisconsin: Eat Cheese or Die!

(my fave....oh, and something about this thread has prompted me to repost a favorite old joke...[adapted to suit my taste]....)


A Texan, a Californian, and Oregonian meet at a dude ranch and are sitting by the campfire.

The Texan pulls out an expensive bottle of tequila, takes a long pull, then suddenly throws it into the air, pulls out his Colt revolver and shoots the bottle in midair.

The Californian looks at him and says, "Why, what are you doing? That was a perfectly good bottle of tequila!"

The Texan says, "Waaal, in Texas, there's plenty of tequila and the bottles are cheap."

A bit later, not to be outdone, the Californian pulls out a bottle of Cabernet/Shiraz, takes a small sip, then throws the bottle into the air, pulls out his .380 PPK/S and shoots the bottle in midair.

The Oregonian can't believe his eyes, "Dang, what the *heck* did you do that for? That was a perfectly good bottle of wine!"

The Californian says, "Why, in California, we have plenty of fine wine... and bottles are cheap!"

So, at this point, the Oregonian pulls out a bottle of Rogue Younger's Special Bitter microbrew. He opens it and slowly chugs the whole bottle. He then throws the bottle high in the air, but then cleanly catches it, deftly sticks the bottle in his saddlebag, and then swings out his Mossberg shotgun and shoots the Californian dead.

The Texan is shocked: "Jeeez, what the the helllll did you do that for????"

The Oregonian replies, "Waaal in Oregon, we've got plenty of Californians.... but this here bottle's worth a nickel!"

Okay. Stupid trivia question time:

What state has the longest official name?

What state has the longest official name?

Ummmm. "The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations?"

(you can take the boy out of New England, but you can't....

can we tell this is just a thrill-packed Friday evening?)

"Official name"?

I would guess something like "Commonwealth of Virginia" or something.

Nice title! First time I notice it!!!

Edit: BZZZ! Wrong answer!!!

Ah, nuts. That was too quick.

HeHe...I reckon they were trying to make the state sound impressively big.

What state's name has only one syllable?

I guess that was sort of the reason that it came to mind; that and the ``not really an island'' crack. Rhode Island is an island. It's the island on which Newport and Middletown sit. Providence, on the other hand, is on the mainland. Thus ``Rhode Island and Providence Plantations''.

Of course, there are a few other sizable islands, but I guess they didn't care too much about those. Maybe there was a land dispute with Connecticut.

Maine.

Nebraska, the "N" is for "Knowledge!"

We actually have a place here called "Aksarben." Yes, that's Nebraska backwards.

A suburb of Omaha is called Papillion. You'd think you would pronounce it pap-e-on. But no, it's pronounced pa-pill-yon. I got weird looks when I first moved here.

I don't know french, but I think I'm right:

Source: The Collins Paperback French Dictionary © 1995 HarperCollins Publishers:
papillon [papijÃ]
(nm)butterfly;
(fam contravention) (parking) ticket;
(TECH écrou) wing or butterfly nut;
~ de nuit moth.

If I remember right, my mother agreed with me too (her family all speaks french).

This city (Omaha) is full of really goofy stuff.

A suburb of Omaha is called Papillion. You'd think you would pronounce it pap-e-on. But no, it's pronounced pa-pill-yon.

Tell that to the residents of Day-trwa, Michigan, or Day Mwan, Iowa, or of the state of Illin-wa. Or go to New Orleans, which like many placenames thereabouts is stuck in a no-man's-land (AW-lins) between the French pronunciation AW-lay-on and the English aw-LEENS.

Peter

A suburb of Omaha is called Papillion.

Perhaps an early settler was in the habit of transporting his father as a passenger on his motorbike?

Peter

This city (Omaha) is full of really goofy stuff.

I lived there for a year before I moved right the hell out of there to go to school. I don't think Omaha has a single redeeming value about it.

Eh. Most of those are American Indian words transcribed by French speakers, so it's not like the French pronunciation was correct in the first place.

Most of those are American Indian words transcribed by French speakers, so it's not like the French pronunciation was correct in the first place.

Not exactly correct perhaps, but if you're a French speaker phonetically transcribing another language's words, you'll transcribe it so it sounds right in French, not English!

Peter

Relativly high percentage of tech jobs and a low cost of living. That's why I'm still here anyway.

Believe it or not, Omaha is the 44th largest city in the US. Disturbing....

There are tech jobs there? From what I remember it (lived there in 1992), it was insurance companies and the stockyards. I hear you about the cost of living though, its pretty low here too.

Perhaps an early settler was in the habit of transporting his father as a passenger on his motorbike?

(fits of wild giggling)

pca

In reply to:

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HeHe...I reckon they were trying to make the state sound impressively big.

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Must be a case of "small man" syndrome.