After I'd considered all these issues, the damn voice in the back of my head piped up, and said "hmmm, I wonder what a 1D Mk1 goes for". It seems they go for around $1500, which is yet again "just a bit" more than the 20D.
After four years, thousands of shots, and the theft of all my camera gear besides my 50mm f1.8 (which they literally looked at and and left), I've finally picked up a beautiful amateur owned 1d MkIIn with 11k shots on the shutter.
8.5 FPS. A button for "favorite autofocus point". A button for everything else. SD and CF slots. Weather sealing everywhere. A dual battery charger included like when I had the D60. A viewfinder where you can actually see if the subject is in focus. Everything displayed in the viewfinder. An outrageous number of custom functions.
The weight may yet be an issue, but for now I'm enjoying it thoroughly.