in my inetd.conf file I had this...
tftp dgram udp wait root /usr/sbin/in.tftpd /usr/sbin/in.tftpd -s /var/lib/tftpboot
I changed it to match your example.

and in my default/tftp file, I had it set to run in as a demon, and I had it set to start with xinitd. I guess after a couple of days scratching my head, I modified one to many files

Anyways, I just ran the get pxelinux.0, and didn't get a permissions denied error, so after work I'll head down to the shop and see if ubuntu will netinstall correctly now.

Thanks again for the help!